You are currently viewing And the Winner is….

And the Winner is….

Another wrestling tournament – the last of the year: the state championships. Only my older grandson went; the younger did not wish to go and made no sense to force him into it. Which, by the way, turned out to be a good thing because he woke up with a temperature and feeling really ill in the morning so he couldn’t have gone anyway.

Being the states, there were more people there than we had seen in previous tournaments to both wrestle and spectate, so it was a wild and noisy place – complete chaos. First time for my grandson at such a boisterous venue, his first states; second for my son, and third time for me. It doesn’t get easier…. Wrestling, alone with your opponent in the square circle is daunting, intimidating even. Thousands of eyes upon you, people yelling and screaming; it is an assault on the senses, yet your immediate need is to focus on your adversary, to remember what you’ve learned, and to fight to win. Everything else needs to be blocked out – a mental magnifying glass if you will – to focus your mind and body on solely the moment about to unfold. Focus, concentration, the ability to turn the knobs and flip the switches of all external inputs that serve to do nothing but distract, is a crucial skill in wrestling, but also in life.

Every successive match brought screaming and cheers, followed by jubilation or tears. These young boys and girls take their objective seriously – they take it to heart. And when they fail their mission, miss their objective, they leave the mat emotionally ravaged. One poor child dropped prone and couldn’t will himself back to his feet to leave the mat after losing a match he had been winning throughout. The emotional rope is long in these moments and as such, it allows an abnormally wide swing between the polar ends.

And this is another great teaching moment of wrestling; as Jim McKay used to announce every Saturday at the start of The Wide World of Sports: the joy of victory and the agony of defeat. It is a microcosm of life. We will, invariably, experience wins and losses throughout our lives. Balance through both is critical to living well. Focus too heavily on the losses and you become a sorry Charlie walking through life with head bent down, bemoaning your bad luck and the unfairness of life. And focusing in on the victories makes one an insufferably arrogant person offering little to entice others to join company. The balanced person will mourn their losses and celebrate their victories, but with control and restraint. With every loss comes a memory of a past victory, and with every win, a memory of a previous defeat. Balance. And my grandson learned all that this day. He lost matches and he won matches and though there were tears, there were also smiles. There was balance.

But there are other lessons, harsher ones that cut more deeply than a singular loss. Life is not fair. And the sooner we learn that lesson, the better our chances to a happy journey through life. Bad things happen, indiscriminately; it is one of the anomalies of life. There is no avoiding it, no amount preparation and planning can help one avoid a misstep created by the vagaries of life. My grandson used a move called a headlock, earning him two points for a takedown. It led to a back exposure of his opponent which is worth either two or three points depending upon the duration the opponent’s back is on the mat. His opponent then rolled through it and out and they ended up on their feet again, resulting in a point to the opponent. At that point the computer on the scoring table went down. When the dust had settled, Robbie should have been leading 6-2. But the points for the back exposure were never awarded; not three or not even two – he got none for it. Ultimately, he lost the match by one point; had either the three, or even the two points, been awarded as deserved, he would have won this match. But he didn’t. He was devastated that he had lost, more so when he learned he had gotten no points for the back exposure and that those point would have given him the win. But that is wrestling and that is life. Bad things happen. The points were not awarded and he did not win. The kid that did win went on the consolation finals where he would wrestle with the 3rd place medal to the winner.

But we weren’t done learning yet; wrestling had another life lesson to teach. Through his tears after the match, Robbie told us that he had let go and allowed the kid to escape the headlock. As fate had it, he ended up wrestling a teammate in this match. A kid he wrestled in every practice, three days a week, for the last thee months. They are teammates and they are friends. And during the headlock his teammate cried out that Robbie was hurting his arm in the headlock. And Robbie chose compassion over aggression. He felt badly about hurting a teammate, a friend, and he release the hold. A great number of wrestling holds hurt – that’s sort of the point to them. They rarely cause any real damage, but they sure feel as if they are. In any other match against any other opponent, I have no doubt but that Robbie would have maintained his hold and pinned his opponent. But being a friend, he let him out. I have no doubt Robbie still thought he would win the match and letting him escape was no big deal. But it ended up costing him the win, and probably 3rd place as he was far better than the kid he would have had to wrestle had he advanced.

What do you say to a child who demonstrated compassion and lost a match as a result? In wrestling you are taught to go full speed, full ahead, no sympathy for your opponent – at least during the match. If there is an safety issue, a danger, the referee will instantly step in and stop the action to protect the wrestler. You are taught to go impose your will on your opponent until that whistle blows. But a teammate? A friend? That’s a tough one. And as much as my machismo and testosterone make me want to teach him to be tough and callous and a force to be reckoned with on the mat, the fabric of my soul wants more for him to be caring and compassionate.

I was so proud of him in how he wrestled – his growth in physical ability, mental toughness, repertoire of moves and countermoves, and endurance in just three months is astounding and clearly showed in his wrestling. But all that waned, at least for me, when he admitted his “moment of weakness” and released his opponent, his friend, from the hold. That compassion will carry him much further (and more successfully) through life than would have a bronze medal in a wrestling match. I could not have been prouder.

This Post Has 86 Comments

  1. Margarito

    First of all I want to say superb blog! I had a quick question which I’d like to
    ask if you do not mind. I was interested to
    find out how you center yourself and clear
    your thoughts before writing. I’ve had a difficult time clearing
    my thoughts in getting my thoughts out. I do take pleasure in writing
    but it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes tend to be lost simply just trying to figure out how to begin. Any recommendations
    or tips? Cheers!

  2. Eagle Hemp CBD

    Thank you for your site post. Johnson and I happen to
    be saving for a new e-book on this issue and your blog post has made us
    all to save our own money. Your thinking really resolved all our issues.
    In fact, a lot more than what we had recognized in advance of the time we found your wonderful blog.
    We no longer nurture doubts including a troubled mind because you have actually attended to our own needs here.

    Thanks

    My web-site … Eagle Hemp CBD

  3. Alpha Edge Pills

    Thanks for the good writeup. It in truth used to be
    a enjoyment account it. Glance complex to far introduced
    agreeable from you! By the way, how could we be in contact?

    Visit my web-site Alpha Edge Pills

  4. Sparkling CBD

    That is a very good tip particularly to those new to the blogosphere.
    Brief but very precise information… Many thanks for sharing this one.
    A must read post!

    Look at my site; Sparkling CBD

  5. Someone essentially lend a hand to make significantly posts I
    would state. That is the very first time I frequented your website page and
    so far? I amazed with the research you made to make this actual submit extraordinary.

    Fantastic process!

    Feel free to visit my blog post … Optimum Keto Ingredients
    (http://163.30.42.16/)

  6. Hello, I think your site might be having browser compatibility issues.
    When I look at your blog site in Chrome, it looks
    fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some
    overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up!

    Other then that, wonderful blog!

    Here is my web site – Ice House Portable AC

  7. Thanks for each of your hard work on this web site.
    My mother loves going through investigation and it is easy to understand why.
    I notice all concerning the compelling form you provide insightful tips and tricks
    on the web site and strongly encourage contribution from other individuals about this
    idea so our favorite child is without a doubt understanding so much.
    Have fun with the rest of the year. You’re the one doing a good job.[X-N-E-W-L-I-N-S-P-I-N-X]I’m really impressed along with your writing talents as
    neatly as with the layout for your weblog. Is that this a
    paid topic or did you customize it your self? Anyway keep up the excellent quality writing, it is
    uncommon to see a nice blog like this one today.

    My web-site :: http://www.fotosombra.com.br

  8. Luiresse Cream

    Hello, Neat post. There’s an issue with your site in internet
    explorer, may check this? IE still is the market chief and a large element
    of other folks will pass over your excellent writing due to this problem.

    Look at my homepage :: Luiresse Cream

  9. Katherin

    Hi! I realize this is somewhat off-topic but I had to ask.
    Does building a well-established website like yours require a massive amount work?
    I’m brand new to writing a blog however I do write in my journal every day.
    I’d like to start a blog so I can easily share my own experience and views online.
    Please let me know if you have any suggestions or tips for brand new aspiring bloggers.
    Thankyou!

  10. Clarissa

    Pretty component of content. I just stumbled upon your weblog and in accession capital to assert that I get in fact loved account your
    blog posts. Anyway I’ll be subscribing in your augment and even I
    success you get right of entry to persistently quickly.

  11. I do not even understand how I finished up here, but I believed this publish was once good.
    I do not understand who you might be but certainly you’re going to a well-known blogger in the event
    you aren’t already. Cheers!

    My web site … http://www.meteoritegarden.com

  12. Simply to follow up on the up-date of this issue on your web site and
    wish to let you know just how much I liked the time you took to put together this useful post.
    Inside the post, you really spoke on how to really
    handle this issue with all comfort. It would be my personal pleasure
    to get some more tips from your web site and come
    as much as offer some others what I have learned from you.
    Thanks for your usual good effort.

    Review my web site – Optimum Keto Reviews

  13. Allie

    I do not even understand how I ended up right here, but I assumed this publish was good.
    I do not understand who you’re but definitely you are going to a famous blogger when you
    are not already. Cheers!

  14. Yolanda

    Having read this I believed it was rather informative.
    I appreciate you taking the time and energy to put
    this content together. I once again find myself spending a lot of time both reading
    and leaving comments. But so what, it was still worth it!

  15. saihuo.com

    I have read so many articles about the blogger lovers but this article is truly a good
    post, keep it up.

    Here is my blog :: Optimum Keto Diet (saihuo.com)

  16. Marlene

    Hi! This is my first visit to your blog! We are a team of volunteers and starting a new project
    in a community in the same niche. Your blog provided us useful information to work on. You
    have done a outstanding job!

  17. Good day! Do you know if they make any plugins to safeguard against hackers?
    I’m kinda paranoid about losing everything I’ve worked hard on. Any suggestions?

    my page – Wawza Apple Cider Gummies Review [talkeverything.online]

  18. Kermit

    Please let me know if you’re looking for a article writer for your blog.
    You have some really great posts and I think I would be a good asset.
    If you ever want to take some of the load off, I’d really like to write
    some articles for your blog in exchange for a link back to mine.
    Please blast me an email if interested. Cheers!

  19. A motivating discussion is definitely worth comment. I believe that you should write more on this subject, it might not be a taboo
    subject but usually people don’t speak about these topics.
    To the next! Kind regards!!

  20. Summer Valley CBD

    I am extremely inspired with your writing abilities as neatly as with
    the structure for your blog. Is that this a paid theme or did you modify it yourself?
    Anyway stay up the nice high quality writing, it’s rare to
    peer a great blog like this one today..

    Feel free to surf to my page; Summer Valley CBD

  21. Erlinda

    Marvelous, what a webpage it is! This blog provides valuable information to us, keep it up.

  22. Rodolfo

    I have read so many articles on the topic of the blogger lovers however this piece of
    writing is actually a pleasant piece of writing, keep it up.

  23. Sophie

    Excellent weblog here! Additionally your web site quite a bit up fast!
    What host are you the usage of? Can I am getting your affiliate
    hyperlink in your host? I wish my site loaded up as fast as yours lol

  24. I was suggested this web site by my cousin. I am not positive whether or
    not this publish is written via him as nobody else recognise such unique approximately
    my trouble. You are incredible! Thank you!

    Here is my webpage Green Leaf Hills CBD Oil

  25. Good day! I could have sworn I’ve been to this blog before but
    after going through some of the articles I realized
    it’s new to me. Regardless, I’m certainly delighted I
    discovered it and I’ll be bookmarking it and checking back
    frequently!

    Feel free to visit my homepage … Sparkling Pure CBD Review

  26. Tһis website definitely has all the information and fаcts I wanted about this subject and didn’t know who tto ask.

  27. I have been surfing online greater than 3 hours these days,
    yet I by no means found any fascinating article like yours.
    It’s lovely price sufficient for me. In my view, if all webmasters and bloggers made good content as you did, the net will
    likely be much more helpful than ever before.

  28. My developer is trying to persuade me to move to .net from PHP.
    I have always disliked the idea because of the costs.

    But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using Movable-type on a number of
    websites for about a year and am anxious about switching to another
    platform. I have heard very good things about blogengine.net.
    Is there a way I can transfer all my wordpress posts into it?
    Any kind of help would be really appreciated!

  29. I like what you guys are up too. Such smart work and reporting!
    Carry on the superb works guys I have incorporated you guys to my blogroll.
    I think it’ll improve the value of my website :).

    my web page … Vigor Max Male Enhancement Review; http://www.medflyfish.com,

  30. Viking XL Keto

    I am curious to find out what blog platform you have been working with?
    I’m having some minor security issues with my latest website and I would like to find something more secure.

    Do you have any solutions?

    Also visit my web blog … Viking XL Keto

  31. Viking XL Keto

    I need to to thank you for this good read!! I definitely loved
    every bit of it. I’ve got you bookmarked to look at new stuff you post?

    Feel free to surf to my webpage – Viking XL Keto

  32. Hildegarde

    Link exchange is nothing else except it is simply placing the other person’s weblog link
    on your page at suitable place and other person will also do same in support of
    you.

  33. poker pkv

    I’m gone tߋ say to my little brother, that he should also go to seе this web site on regular baѕis to get updateԀ from most recent reports.

  34. Aida

    Great post. I used to be checking constantly this weblog and I’m
    impressed! Extremely helpful info specially the closing section :
    ) I deal with such info much. I was looking for this particular
    information for a very lengthy time. Thank you and best of luck.

  35. Someone necessarily assist to make critically posts I would state.

    This is the first time I frequented your website page and to this point?
    I surprised with the analysis you made to create this actual post amazing.
    Wonderful job!

    my web-site: http://www.meteoritegarden.com

  36. Primiene

    I wish to express some thanks to the writer for rescuing me from such
    a incident. After scouting throughout the online world and obtaining
    advice which are not helpful, I figured my life was over. Living without the
    presence of solutions to the difficulties you have resolved as a result
    of your good write-up is a critical case, as well as ones which could have in a
    negative way damaged my career if I hadn’t noticed your blog.

    Your primary capability and kindness in taking care of all the things was valuable.
    I don’t know what I would have done if I had not discovered such a
    stuff like this. I can also at this point relish my future.
    Thanks so much for your skilled and result oriented guide.
    I will not think twice to recommend your blog to anyone who will need care on this issue.

    my web page: Primiene

  37. Shawn

    I was wondering if you ever considered changing the layout of your blog?
    Its very well written; I love what youve got to say.

    But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better.
    Youve got an awful lot of text for only having 1 or 2 pictures.

    Maybe you could space it out better?

  38. Charles

    I have fun with, lead to I found exactly what
    I was taking a look for. You have ended my four day long
    hunt! God Bless you man. Have a great day. Bye

  39. Moscatcher

    Simply want to say your article is as amazing.
    The clarity in your post is just great and i could
    assume you’re an expert on this subject. Fine with your permission let me
    to grab your RSS feed to keep updated with forthcoming post.
    Thanks a million and please continue the enjoyable work.

    My web-site: Moscatcher

  40. Preston

    Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I’ve really enjoyed browsing your blog posts.
    After all I will be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you write
    again soon!

  41. Garland

    I’m truly enjoying the design and layout of your
    blog. It’s a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more pleasant for me to come here
    and visit more often. Did you hire out a developer to create your
    theme? Fantastic work!

  42. Domenic

    It’s very effortless to find out any matter on net as compared to books, as I found this post at this site.

  43. Guy

    I take pleasure in, lead to I discovered just what I was having a look
    for. You’ve ended my four day lengthy hunt!
    God Bless you man. Have a nice day. Bye

  44. Biodermeux

    Hey there! This is my first visit to your blog!
    We are a team of volunteers and starting a new project in a community in the same niche.

    Your blog provided us beneficial information to
    work on. You have done a marvellous job!

    My blog post :: Biodermeux

  45. Karl

    of course like your web site but you need to take a look at the spelling on quite a few of
    your posts. Several of them are rife with spelling problems and I to
    find it very troublesome to tell the reality then again I’ll certainly
    come again again.

  46. Max BHB Keto

    Hi there! This article couldn’t be written any
    better! Looking at this post reminds me of my previous
    roommate! He continually kept preaching about this.

    I will send this information to him. Fairly certain he’ll have a very good
    read. Thanks for sharing!

    Feel free to surf to my site – Max BHB Keto

  47. Wawza Gummies

    You are so awesome! I don’t believe I have read something like this before.
    So wonderful to discover somebody with a few original thoughts on this
    issue. Seriously.. many thanks for starting this up.
    This website is one thing that’s needed on the internet, someone
    with some originality!

    Also visit my web page; Wawza Gummies

  48. Cortney

    Hey there! I know this is somewhat off topic but I was wondering which blog
    platform are you using for this site? I’m getting tired of WordPress because I’ve had issues with hackers and I’m looking at options for
    another platform. I would be fantastic if you could
    point me in the direction of a good platform.

  49. Pure Keto Burn

    Helpful information. Lucky me I discovered your site accidentally,
    and I am surprised why this coincidence didn’t took place in advance!
    I bookmarked it.

    Also visit my site: Pure Keto Burn

  50. Abe

    you are really a good webmaster. The web site loading velocity is incredible.
    It seems that you are doing any distinctive trick.
    Also, The contents are masterpiece. you have done a wonderful activity in this topic!

  51. Luiresse Skin

    Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It in fact was
    a amusement account it. Look advanced to more added agreeable from you!
    However, how could we communicate?

    Feel free to surf to my blog Luiresse Skin

  52. beauty-inc.ru

    Remarkable things here. I am very glad to look your post.
    Thank you a lot and I’m having a look ahead to
    touch you. Will you please drop me a e-mail?

    Also visit my web blog :: TetraMale, beauty-inc.ru,

  53. Definitely believe that which you said. Your favorite justification seemed to be on the internet
    the easiest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I certainly get annoyed
    while people consider worries that they plainly do not know about.
    You managed to hit the nail upon the top as well as defined out
    the whole thing without having side effect , people could take
    a signal. Will probably be back to get more. Thanks

    My site Far East XL Reviews

  54. Gabrielle

    Hmm it looks like your blog ate my first comment (it was
    extremely long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I submitted
    and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I too am an aspiring blog blogger but I’m still new to the
    whole thing. Do you have any helpful hints for beginner blog
    writers? I’d definitely appreciate it.

  55. Lashunda

    I want to to thank you for this good read!! I certainly loved every bit of it.
    I’ve got you saved as a favorite to look at new stuff you post?

  56. Luigi

    Some genuinely nice stuff on this web site, I like it!

  57. Toni

    Greetings! This is my first comment here so I just wanted to give a quick shout out and tell you
    I really enjoy reading your articles. Can you recommend any
    other blogs/websites/forums that deal with the same topics?
    Thanks a ton!

  58. Windy

    Pretty! This has been an incredibly wonderful post.

    Thanks for providing this info.

  59. Rose

    Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wished to say that I’ve
    really enjoyed surfing around your blog posts. After all I’ll be subscribing to your rss feed and I
    hope you write again soon!

  60. Kandice

    I am extremely impressed with your writing skills and also with the layout on your weblog.
    Is this a paid theme or did you customize it yourself?
    Either way keep up the excellent quality writing, it’s rare to see
    a nice blog like this one today.

  61. Rudolph

    This is a topic that is near to my heart… Many thanks! Where are your contact details though?

  62. Dorine

    Nice blog here! Also your site loads up fast! What host are you using?
    Can I get your affiliate link to your host? I wish my
    site loaded up as quickly as yours lol

  63. Cindy

    Hi there everyone, it’s my first go to see at this web page, and article is really fruitful
    for me, keep up posting these types of content.

  64. Wayne

    I delight in this, discovered just what I was
    having a look for. You’ve ended my four day long hunt!
    God Bless you man. Have a nice day. Bye

  65. Darryl

    I’d like to thank you for the efforts you’ve put in penning
    this website. I really hope to view the same high-grade blog posts by you later on as well.
    In truth, your creative writing abilities has inspired me to get my very own blog now 😉

  66. Olga

    Magnificent goods from you, man. I have understand your stuff previous to and you are just extremely excellent.
    I really like what you’ve acquired here, really like what you are saying and the way in which you
    say it. You make it enjoyable and you still care for
    to keep it sensible. I can’t wait to read far more from
    you. This is really a tremendous website.

  67. Katia

    Simply desire to say your article is as astonishing. The clarity
    in your put up is simply great and i can think you are a
    professional on this subject. Well along with your permission let me to grab your feed to stay updated with approaching
    post. Thanks one million and please carry on the gratifying
    work.

  68. Caitlyn

    Aw, this was a very nice post. Taking a few minutes and actual
    effort to create a superb article… but what can I say… I put things
    off a lot and never seem to get anything done.

  69. Deloris

    Dead written articles, Really enjoyed examining.

  70. Roberto

    I absolutely love your blog.. Very nice colors & theme.

    Did you build this web site yourself? Please reply back as I?m wanting to create my own website and want to know where you got
    this from or just what the theme is called. Thanks!

  71. Damian

    Awesome info again! Thanks;)

  72. Clyde

    Excellent post. I am facing many of these issues
    as well..

  73. Anthony

    Great write-up, I am regular visitor of one’s web site, maintain up the excellent
    operate, and It is going to be a regular visitor for a lengthy time.

  74. Anh

    Loving the info on this internet site, you have done outstanding job on the content.

Leave a Reply