Apologies for falling off the earth, seemingly. I\u2019ve been battling some very minor illnesses which included back to back colds and a stomach bug; all of which left me disenchanted with anything but slouching on the couch \u2013 sorry. I am feeling better and trying to build some momentum with my missives once again, starting with today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have 5 weeks of work remaining; a surreal thought. I\u2019ve been working\u2026\u2026well it feels like forever. While the \u201cjobs\u201d I had as a preteen and a teenager weren\u2019t \u201creal\u201d work per se, it meant being someplace I didn\u2019t want to be doing something I didn\u2019t necessarily enjoy. Carrying golf bags is not terribly hard, but do 36 holes carrying doubles in mid-summer and tell me you wouldn\u2019t have rather been at the beach watching bikinis\u2026.. Even the boat \u2013 that was 40 hours a week minimum and as much as I loved being on the water, there were many times I\u2019d rather have been with my friends. But then the real work began and it mattered \u2013 it was to live, to eat, to afford \u201cstuff\u201d like gas and shoes!! And it\u2019s been that way ever since.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You don\u2019t look at it the same when you\u2019re in the middle of it, much like a race (as you know dear reader, one of my favorite analogies). When you are 4 miles into a 12 mile race, you don\u2019t think about the end, the finish line. You focus on the mile you\u2019re in and maybe, the next mile. You focus on your pace, your footfall, your cadence, your breathing \u2013 you focus on carrying on \u2013 on maintaining. Much the same with work, you focus on the current month and year \u2013 your short-term goals and objectives \u2013 you don\u2019t start dreaming about retirement; it make no sense to do so and is pointless; too far away. But as the years pass, and you begin all the strategic moves necessary to ensure you\u2019ll actually be able to retire, when that time comes; then you begin to idly ponder it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But now? With just 5 weeks left? It is an imponderable weight on my shoulders; a sword of Damocles. You see, I\u2019ve had a good career; really good. I am not some superhero by a long shot, but I have made a difference \u2013 I\u2019ve mattered though, to some extent. And now the finish line is in my sight and after 44 years and 4 months, I don\u2019t want to rip and fall on my face at the line with everyone watching. Everyone wants to finish strong \u2013 in running you finish with a sprint, you don\u2019t fall down and roll across the line in the mud. Likewise, I want to finish on my feet, running, at the line; no trips, no falls. And facing retirement after all these years of coming to the same place is very distracting. And I can\u2019t afford to be distracted. The pace is frenetic and it takes a but a millisecond for things to go very wrong. I\u2019ve already had a handful of somewhat serious issues in the first three months of this year and I do not want any more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yet as I say that, everywhere I walk there is a poster with my mug on it, advertising my retirement party. And I am deep \u2013 up to my eyeballs deep \u2013 in the various things I need to do to prepare to go. Distractions!! What I so desperately yearn for is for my replacement to be selected and placed into the role so I can transition into purely support and teaching for the last few weeks. And through it all, I am trying to understand how I will say good bye. Exciting? Indubitably!! But like all things in life, there is fear of change, dread of loss, and dis-ease with the uncertainty of the unknown. As Dr. Sydney Freedman of the MASH 4077th loved to say: pull down your pants and slide on the ice!!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Apologies for falling off the earth, seemingly. I\u2019ve been battling some very minor illnesses which included back to back colds and a stomach bug; all of which left me disenchanted with anything but slouching on the couch \u2013 sorry. I am feeling better and trying to build some momentum with my missives once again, starting […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":355,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"ocean_front_end_style_editor":"no","ocean_post_layout":"","ocean_both_sidebars_style":"","ocean_both_sidebars_content_width":0,"ocean_both_sidebars_sidebars_width":0,"ocean_sidebar":"0","ocean_second_sidebar":"0","ocean_disable_margins":"enable","ocean_add_body_class":"","ocean_shortcode_before_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_after_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_before_header":"","ocean_shortcode_after_header":"","ocean_has_shortcode":"","ocean_shortcode_after_title":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_bottom":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_bottom":"","ocean_display_top_bar":"default","ocean_display_header":"default","ocean_header_style":"","ocean_center_header_left_menu":"0","ocean_custom_header_template":"0","ocean_custom_logo":0,"ocean_custom_retina_logo":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_height":0,"ocean_header_custom_menu":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_family":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_subset":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_size":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_unit":"px","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_line_height":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_unit":"","ocean_menu_typo_spacing":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_unit":"","ocean_menu_link_color":"","ocean_menu_link_color_hover":"","ocean_menu_link_color_active":"","ocean_menu_link_background":"","ocean_menu_link_hover_background":"","ocean_menu_link_active_background":"","ocean_menu_social_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_links_color":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_color":"","ocean_disable_title":"default","ocean_disable_heading":"default","ocean_post_title":"","ocean_post_subheading":"","ocean_post_title_style":"","ocean_post_title_background_color":"","ocean_post_title_background":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_image_position":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_attachment":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_repeat":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_size":"","ocean_post_title_height":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay":0.5,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay_color":"","ocean_disable_breadcrumbs":"default","ocean_breadcrumbs_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_separator_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_hover_color":"","ocean_display_footer_widgets":"default","ocean_display_footer_bottom":"default","ocean_custom_footer_template":"0","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"ocean_post_oembed":"","ocean_post_self_hosted_media":"","ocean_post_video_embed":"","ocean_link_format":"","ocean_link_format_target":"self","ocean_quote_format":"","ocean_quote_format_link":"post","ocean_gallery_link_images":"off","ocean_gallery_id":[],"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-354","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-life","entry","has-media"],"yoast_head":"\n