So, dear reader, today is my birthday.\nI do not announce that seeking salutations; rather, a birthday essentially\nforces us each to stop and recognize the inexorable movement of time, the\nunstoppable advancement of age, and the inevitable loss associated with both.\nUnless you live alone, do not participate in social media, and have no family,\nthere is no escaping the birthday. Delightful as a child, exciting as a young\nman, and heartwarming in middle age, I find them less appealing in my \u201csilver\u201d\nyears. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
There is no doubt about the integral part\nthat balance plays in life \u2013 I\u2019ve written of it often. And there is also no\ndoubt that life is about loss; we lose friends and family, we lose beloved\npets, and we lose across the spectrum in the physical body: strength, speed,\nagility, keenness of senses, and (ironically) even balance. But there enters\nbalance; we gain in other areas to compensate for what we lose \u2013 not directly of\ncourse such as enhanced eyesight for loss of hearing \u2013 but we simultaneously lose\nand gain throughout our lives. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The price of love is grief. A wonderful quote often attributed to Queen Elizabeth but actually by British psychiatrist Dr. Parkes, and quite telling in its brevity. It dovetails quite nicely with Tennyson\u2019s quote \u201cTis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.\u201d Balance. Gain and loss. I\u2019ve had a lot of loss in in my life, yet I have had a lifetime filled with love and wonderful memories of those people and those times. (A note to this: I wish I had some memories of my mother who died when I was so young, but since I really don\u2019t remember her, there isn\u2019t much grief associated with the loss, so not a lot of fond memories to balance the loss.) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But it is easy to lose perspective as\nyou age; easy to view life as the tide going out, the sun setting, or the moon\nwaning due to the losses in the physical realm. We often can lose sight of all\nwe\u2019ve gained throughout our lifetime when a loss in the physical body is immediately\nin front of you. Those moments pop up when you trip over a branch on a hike and\ninstead of catching yourself as you always would have in your younger days, you\nfail to do so and you fall; when you are on the floor to assemble a piece of\nfurniture and can\u2019t quite get up without changing your position or grabbing a\nchair; when you get a new watch and need to put on glasses to see the text on\nit in order to set it up. They are life\u2019s daily reminders that you are aging\nand you are losing physical skills. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You don\u2019t notice them much in your 30\u2019s;\nmaybe you go play football or baseball after not having played for five or six\nyears \u2013 you\u2019ll notice your breath is a little short or you aren\u2019t as fast as\nyou seemed to remember. And of course the next day, your muscles will remind\nyou of the fact that they are not as young as they used to be. Noticing loss becomes\nmore prevalent in your 40\u2019s and it becomes an almost daily visitor in your 50\u2019s.\n But at the same time, you are often at\nthe pinnacle of your profession \u2013 making a difference, making change, making\nthings better \u2013 and that is extremely rewarding. And that provides great\nbalance against the physical losses. Your focus and objectives change as you\nage and physical prowess and ability fall by the wayside and yield to things\nlike authority, responsibility, and accomplishments in your profession. Balance.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As I write this, I need to comment that I am one of the lucky ones; I have not gained much weight in my years; I think I have gone from a 29 waist to a 31 waist in my pants; my hair has thinned, but there is still a lot of it; I can still do 50 push-ups and can still hike 15 miles at a good clip. I look in the mirror and am surprised because I don\u2019t feel what the grey hair and beard reflect back to me; there are times I feel like I am right back in the \u201870\u2019s (the decade – not age!) and I count those blessings daily. But I can\u2019t see well \u2013 distance or up close \u2013 anymore. My hearing sucks to put it plainly, just miserable. They tell me it\u2019s around 15% loss but I miss so much in daily conversations that I really feel like it\u2019s more. I used to be as nimble as a mountain goat \u2013 never fell unless I was absolutely pushing the limits \u2013 but I did fall while hiking, a couple of times, this year. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
While loss leaves a hole, from the perspective\nthat something is taken away, the reality of life is truly that of balance;\nwhatever is lost and leaves a hole is replaced with something else to fill in that\nhole. Therefore, more than being about loss, life is more about change; about living\nthrough various stages and iterations of ourselves. We grow wiser \u2013 I have so\nmuch more wisdom now than when I was 20. We continue to learn, daily. Memories\nand emotions fill our heart and soul every day. Our children grow and we\ntransition from parent to grandparent (if you\u2019re lucky). You probably go from the\nworker to the boss. The spoils of life begin to amass, whether those spoils be\nin the form of financial wealth, items you treasure and collect, hobbies you\nhave pursued and excelled at, or unique skills you have nurtured and honed\nthrough your life. You change, your hopes and desires change, your goals and\ndreams change, and your life changes \u2013 you change. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wear a wristwatch \u2013 daily. I have\nsince a teenager. I do not step out the door without a watch on my wrist; maybe\nit\u2019s happened four or five times in my life. It is just a big deal to me; part\nof who I am as a man. I have many watches, maybe up to eight, tucked away. One\nor two were my father\u2019s and one or two were my father in-law\u2019s; the rest I\u2019ve\nbought \u2013 bought after carefully studying them, considering them, almost\nstalking them to ensure they fit exactly what I want. Ironically, for the last\n20 years, I have basically worn the same watch every day, or multiple replacements\nof the same watch as one broke as I replaced it with the same model. I still\nwatch shop sometimes, looking for the next great watch. I should add that I remain\na traditionalist \u2013 a good old-fashioned analog watch \u2013 although my daily watch\nalso has a digital window that displays day and date (or stopwatch\/timer\/alarm).\nI\u2019ve looked at smartwatches but am just not there, this despite my deep love\nfor technology and the next greatest gadget.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And guess what my wife got me for my\nbirthday today? Yep. A watch. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Although to be precise, a FitBit. Not really a watch but sort of a smartwatch, kind of both with some heart-rate and other physical monitoring functions I haven\u2019t explored yet. I was completely surprised. Ironically, I have been stalking a particular watch over the last month \u2013 an analog chronograph – even had the chosen model in my cart online for a day but hadn\u2019t pulled the trigger and bought it. Glad I didn\u2019t! So this was a big surprise to me. And yes, she knows me, and she full well knew I really didn\u2019t want one and wasn\u2019t interested in one, but she still thought I would like it if I tried it. As such, it is actually a very thoughtful gift, given her knowledge of how I love technology. We bought a similar watch for my daughter for Christmas and she loves it. And she agreed with my wife that I would learn to love one as well. Change. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I will try; I will wear it and see what it can do and what it has to offer. I don\u2019t think I am all that interested in my heart-rate but I guess I\u2019ll now know it. I never, ever, wear my watch to bed but apparently I am supposed to do that with this one so it can monitor my sleeping patterns or something. And while it is not an Apple smartwatch, it can pair with my phone with Bluetooth for notifications, calls, etc. So I guess we\u2019ll see. I will wear it, I will use it, and I will run it through its paces and we\u2019ll see if it ends up asserting itself as my new daily watch\u2026.digital watch. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Change: like the tide, the sun, and the moon you can\u2019t deny them; they will change no matter how you mat close your eyes and pretend otherwise. Open your eyes dear reader and embrace the change \u2013 it will usually take you someplace wonderful that you never expected to go and will inevitably fill a hole of something lost. Meanwhile, I need to go figure out how to tell what time it is, digitally, to help mark the passage of yet another year for me. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
So, dear reader, today is my birthday. I do not announce that seeking salutations; rather, a birthday essentially forces us each to stop and recognize the inexorable movement of time, the unstoppable advancement of age, and the inevitable loss associated with both. Unless you live alone, do not participate in social media, and have no […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2155,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"ocean_front_end_style_editor":"no","ocean_post_layout":"","ocean_both_sidebars_style":"","ocean_both_sidebars_content_width":0,"ocean_both_sidebars_sidebars_width":0,"ocean_sidebar":"0","ocean_second_sidebar":"0","ocean_disable_margins":"enable","ocean_add_body_class":"","ocean_shortcode_before_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_after_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_before_header":"","ocean_shortcode_after_header":"","ocean_has_shortcode":"","ocean_shortcode_after_title":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_bottom":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_bottom":"","ocean_display_top_bar":"default","ocean_display_header":"default","ocean_header_style":"","ocean_center_header_left_menu":"0","ocean_custom_header_template":"0","ocean_custom_logo":0,"ocean_custom_retina_logo":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_height":0,"ocean_header_custom_menu":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_family":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_subset":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_size":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_unit":"px","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_line_height":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_unit":"","ocean_menu_typo_spacing":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_unit":"","ocean_menu_link_color":"","ocean_menu_link_color_hover":"","ocean_menu_link_color_active":"","ocean_menu_link_background":"","ocean_menu_link_hover_background":"","ocean_menu_link_active_background":"","ocean_menu_social_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_links_color":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_color":"","ocean_disable_title":"default","ocean_disable_heading":"default","ocean_post_title":"","ocean_post_subheading":"","ocean_post_title_style":"","ocean_post_title_background_color":"","ocean_post_title_background":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_image_position":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_attachment":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_repeat":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_size":"","ocean_post_title_height":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay":0.5,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay_color":"","ocean_disable_breadcrumbs":"default","ocean_breadcrumbs_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_separator_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_hover_color":"","ocean_display_footer_widgets":"default","ocean_display_footer_bottom":"default","ocean_custom_footer_template":"0","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"ocean_post_oembed":"","ocean_post_self_hosted_media":"","ocean_post_video_embed":"","ocean_link_format":"","ocean_link_format_target":"self","ocean_quote_format":"","ocean_quote_format_link":"post","ocean_gallery_link_images":"off","ocean_gallery_id":[],"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2154","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-life","entry","has-media"],"yoast_head":"\n