So the four-week post-op moment has come and gone. I am struggling a little less with the length of the “can’t do anything” part of the recovery because: 1) I am now only about a week from seeing the surgeon and hopefully getting the green light to do a lot more, and 2) I am willfully doing more now. Don’t get me wrong, common sense prevails still. I won’t do something that hurts or causes discomfort, I won’t do what I know will set me back, and while I will push myself, I won’t push too far – at least at once.
I have slowly been increasing my daily steps, currently aiming for at least 6,000 steps every day. I’ve begun a daily morning walk where I have been roaming the neighborhood and getting the bulk of my steps in one shot. I even took a trail through the woods – mostly the remains of a really old railroad line – which actually counted as a hike to me, not a walk. I had fervently hoped to get in a hike in July but wasn’t sure it was feasible given that I can’t drive, so remembering this trail and hiking it was a true blessing in many ways.
My greatest challenge right now is finding a cardiologist; I still don’t have one. My GP recommended a group and sent them a referral on my behalf. But when I called them – twice – they gave me the runaround and said that getting through the approval process would take weeks and getting an appointment would take months. So I called the office that gave me the stress test that began all this figuring that I was already in their system and that they would remember me and hopefully give me “an in” with the process. When they called me back they said they needed a referral and “head’s up – we are currently booking into February”. Damn – six months? Why even bother at that point? Very frustrating. And I told them I just had a quadruple bypass, but no one cares. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.
I still have a measurable amount of discomfort, mostly my chest, both the incision and the underlying muscles and ribs. Nothing even remotely unmanageable, but still there more often than not. The arm incision is also a little sore at times. And with both incisions, the transition between numb (from nerves being cut) and normal sensations is a swarth of semi-numb, tingly, semi-painful, itchy zone I call the land of confusion. Very odd sensations and they change often as tissue heals and nerves begin to come back to life and regenerate.
Sleep has gotten almost back to normal; I am able to get back to most of my regular sleeping positions with little discomfort. I am sleeping more soundly and longer than I have since the surgery. I wake up far less often too, no getting up every half hour to pee as it was in the hospital and the first week or so here at home. I’ve slept straight through from 11pm to 6am a couple of times! And this is important because we do our best healing in our sleep!
I’ve also “discovered” Uber!! Being stuck and unable to drive became just too much for me so I hired an Uber to take us on the 5-minute ride to a local restaurant. And of course one back. And just the other day I had an Uber take us to the movies (saw Twisters and loved it). After the movie we walked through the shops to a restaurant and had lunch, and then called an Uber to take us home. It is not cheap though; $41 for the 5-minute ride to the restaurant and back, and $47 for the trip to the movies and back. The totals include tips – I never tip less than $5 even for a really short ride – but even without tips it still adds up! It cost more for the ride than for the movie tickets. I always expect to spend approx. $100 when we go out to eat (including the tip and I usually tip our server around 30%). But now I have to factor in the cost of an Uber as well and that adds another 40% to going out; for now. Hopefully only another week of needing Uber though!
So here is a really bizarre and off-beat thought that rang through my brain the other night. But allow me to preface a bit first. I am a realist; oh I have pie in the sky thoughts at times, but I am know what’s what and have my feet well-planted on the ground. I am a devout believer in science (a quite unpopular belief to hold these days it seems), but data rules the thought process and science using that data rules our physical world.
But having said all that, I have some pretty unconventional ideas at times; I have a fair amount of faith in the idea of reincarnation. I believe we all emit harmonics from our internal energies – our souls and spirits – and that we “pair” with people whose spiritual “songs” harmonize with our own. So….some rather unscientific ideas from me. And here is another, perhaps more contrived out of events than preconceived and embraced.
They stopped my heart to repair it. Yes – the heart-lung machine took over by oxygenating and circulating my blood to my body in order to sustain it. But they stopped my heart and left it still and silent for two hours and four minutes. Technically dead? No…. but sort of. No heart beat is generally a sign of no longer being alive. And that thought has bounced around in my mind for weeks now. I wonder what my mind did during that time – what is made of it. Of course there is no memory of any of because
drugs and anesthesia shutting down that thought process (shutting down or suppressing it I wonder). But is there a residual after effect at having a still and non-beating heart for over two hours?
And that thought made me wonder. Am I still in the moment? Is all I’ve been through for the last four weeks real or is it my mind trying to deal with my heart not beating and “filling in” details of what it will be like once I awaken? Or worse – were they unable to restart my heart and am I dying and my brain “inventing” a future timeline so I don’t freak out and panic as life slips away? Ludicrous without a doubt, surely and purely imaginative and fictitious on my part, but intriguing none the less! However I must say that I’ve felt more than enough pain, discomfort, and sheer joy in these last four weeks that completely convince me that I am alive and am living here in the now!
Coming up on week five post-op in a couple of days. I finally have a cardiologist – not scheduled until October 3rd but at least I have my foot in the door – my GP is calling him to try to improve my appointment. And to be candid, that is probably a good thing. I seem to have developed some sort of arrhythmia over the last week. It is not serious, mostly an annoyance. It disappears when I am out walking or working in the yard and only shows itself when I sit and rest. My watch will report my pulse in the 70’s or 80’s and then will suddenly register a 37 or something like that. When I use my BP cuff it will sometimes report irregular heartbeat or will just fail with an error code. It is common post-op with this surgery and will likely go away on its own. But it’d be nice to have a cardiologist weigh in on it for me!
Bills have begun rolling in: the current total is $346k. I am responsible for $1650 of it! Insurance for the win!! But still incredibly costly. (Worth every penny of it for sure though!)
Two awesome moments today! My daughter came over with my 3yo and 10mo grandkids. Since school let out, we have not been babysitting them. And then came the whole heart thing and I have had next to no time with them (although they have come over several times but since I can’t do much, not to mention pick them up, I’ve been missing them). Today I got to pick up and hold my granddaughter and she loved it. We spent almost the entire day together when we were babysitting and we had a great bond. Well that was renewed today when she got to sit in my lap in my chair as we used to do every day; and she loved it! She hugged and snuggled and would push away anyone who came over to take her away from me. She kept laying her head on my chest and just smiling. It was awesome for both of us to reconnect.
And today my other granddaughter turned 9 years old. She is Maine of course, but when they were down a week ago I gave them her presents to bring home with them. Well she Facetimed us tonight to watch her open her presents and it was so wonderful! She actually ran off with tears of joy when she opened her big gift (an Oculus Quest). It was so wonderful to share her birthday with her and the rest of the family. My heart (my healthy heart) is full tonight.
Time to wrap this up and get it posted. I am 4 days away from seeing my surgeon – fingers crossed I get a 100% on recovery to date! I am still trying to rehab my heart and overall cardio fitness levels. I do not have a clear and definitive agenda laid out for me, but lacking that I have been researching various rehab outlines from a number of hospitals and medical universities. They are all in agreement that walking is ideal, but I am lost on how much, how often, how fast, etc. My GP said to limit myself and increase slowly, so I have tried to embody all of these things. I am now at week 5 post-op and hit 10,000 steps twice so far; Tuesday and today. I “rested” in between on Wednesday and only did 7,300 steps. I am also working on my pace; a week ago I was doing 1.5-2 miles per day and was averaging around 25 minutes/mile. Yesterday I averaged 18:43 minutes/mile. So slowly increasing distance and intensity. I hope I am doing this right!!
August is here which means a lot of things: summer will begin its transition with the bright greens fading from the intense sun and heat, nights will begin to get cooler and crickets will start coming out, and school will resume. And that leads right into the countdown to Autumn! I am desperately hoping to get out for a real hike within the next few weeks; I have my brand new hiking shoes (that I were delivered just two days after I went into the hospital) still in the box, can’t wait to give them a work out! In the meantime, dear reader, get out and enjoy our last full month of summer… but be sure to stay hydrated and cool!
One last minute update – this morning’s walk was 4.1 miles with an average pace of 17:57 mins/mile. Granted this is walking, not hiking. And I do not have any data for similar walks from months or years ago. But just two weeks ago I did 1.5 miles and averaged 26:48 mins/mile. So in just two weeks – farther and faster! I am very pleased! Enjoy your weekend dear reader!!