Recovery continues; I paused while typing this searching for an adverb – OK, slowly, well, agonizingly, great and everything in between. I am not thrilled with my progress, not at all, until I stop and force myself to remember that it was just two and a half weeks ago that my chest was split wide open and within that gaping cavity, my heart lay still and silent for over two hours while they grafted on the new arteries. So… with that in mind, I guess I have to reconsider my position and term the recovery as fantastic.

I still have pain – well discomfort anyway – but not even really pain-relief worthy; I think I’ve take one Tylenol two separate times over the last four or five days, and that was just as much for the harvest sites in the arm and leg as for the chest itself. And from all I read, that places me a bit above the curve so for that I am grateful. I am holding back on my walking, trying to hit a made-up goal each day and then increasing that goal every five days or so. Currently I am aiming for 3,000 steps a day and today I plan to move that to 4,000 steps. Not all at once of course because it’s about slow and steady with recovery and rehabilitation.

Over the last week or so, a lot of people have either asked if I was scared, or stated that “you must have been so scared” with regards to the surgery. And my honest answer is that I was not – at all. I was worried that they might have a little trouble getting my heart restarted but not seriously worried and never had a doubt that ultimately I would wake up in recovery ICU. However I was extremely nervous about the aftermath – the initial post-surgical pain, getting the tube out, getting the chest drains out, taking those first steps, and that sort of thing. But never scared that I might not get through it; I had complete confidence I’d get through that.

I expected more of myself through this; I thought I would be further along in my recovery, able to do more, and to be in a better place emotionally. I remain so extremely limited – my sternum aches, my incisions itch, I have periodic discomfort in my chest and side and back – all normal from everything I read but still frustrating. I still can get a tad light headed at times when standing up, I get a little tired when outside walking, and I am just generally feeling like I am running on fumes at times. Again, all to be expected, but I didn’t expect it!

But despite my whining here, there is zero doubt but that I am rapidly progressing. While I complain about my slow progress, I honestly do see a difference every day. I read that it can take 4-6 weeks just for the side effects of surgery to go away. Deep anesthesia for six or seven hours, heart stopped for over two hours, coupled with the trauma to the ribs and sternum all combine to do a number on you. You pee so much more often than ever before as your body fights to rid itself of the countless amounts of fluids accumulated during the surgery and then after it. Your bowels slow down, to the point where you will not be released from the hospital until you have had a movement. You appetite becomes suppressed; while you may feel hungry, you just don’t eat as much. I am still not three weeks removed from surgery and I have lost 6-8lbs since the whole ordeal began.

Final update here before getting this posted. Today marks three weeks since the surgery. I never “feel” like I did before the operation, which is of course understandable given the magnitude of the surgery, but more and more I do “feel” really good. There are muscle aches in the chest and sides (especially the left side), the artery harvest site in my arm reminds me of its presence every so often, and the main chest incision either hurts or itches most of the time. And speaking of the chest incision, it was the least troublesome of all the surgical sites for the first week or two, but the nerves are regenerating and that has resulted in a whole slew of weird feelings including tingling, a really odd numbness with an ache, and so on. Nothing worthy of pain killers at all, just a reminder of what you just went through.

Sleep is improving by leaps and bounds, mostly in the last four or five days. I wake up far less often and have actually slept until 8AM twice this week; this compared to waking up at 5 or 6AM before. And since sleep is directly proportional to healing, feeling much better of late makes complete sense. What does not feel better is the interminable waiting: waiting to be able to drive, to mow my lawn, to go out to eat, to go… anywhere!! You sit, you watch TV, you play on the computer, you go outside and walk around the yard, and you sit again. Day after day…. It is so draining I can’t even express the frustration. But simultaneously, it is wonderful – so much better than in the hospital and of course, infinitely better than having not found this and then dropping dead of a massive heart attack!

And since today is the three week anniversary of the life-saving surgery, I have booked an Uber and we are going out for a late lunch!! I think the Uber will cost as much as the lunch because it is only a 5-minute drive but it is totally worth it. Hard to contain my excitement!

I guess the sum of all I’ve rambled on about today it simple: I am getting better every day, I am still extremely aware that I just had my chest split open three weeks ago, I was prepared for a long recovery but not adequately prepared for how long and slow it would really be, and I am so very grateful for having found it fixed this! Stay well dear reader!!